I've always said that a little competition is a good thing. I just wish I had enough money to hire a really famous celebrity to hawk my product like this guy did.
We're proud to offer the finest penis-reducing placebos on the market today, specially designed to address the real needs of men today -- "To strengthen the ego of the finest men."
Because, what man among us doesn't, occasionally, need a bit of a boost to his ego. A little something that lets him know that he's good enough, smart enough, strong enough, and large enough to tackle any problem or issue that may confront him.
As you know, I have been trying, somewhat unsuccessfully, to grow this business back to the same scale it was back in the 1950s and 1960s when my grandfather and his partner were selling thousands of bottles a month. I'm not embarassed to say that I'm still quite far away from that goal. Perhaps the world has changed and the numbers of people who want to buy a placebo which claims to reduce the size of their penis but doesn't actually do so is smaller than it was back in the days of Ike and JFK and Hugh Hefner.
But, I've also thought that maybe the problem is that folks today don't know about the product. To that end, we've been advertising on the web and occasionally on television, but it still hasn't taken off. Recently we'd written another commercial, and were getting ready to see if our favorite pitchman, Billy Mays, might be willing to do the commercial for us ( for free, because we're poor ). Everything was ready to go except for the part of actually trying to contact Mr. Mays and talk him into it.
And, today we were saddened to hear that Mr. Mays passed away overnight, and so we will never have the opporunity to get turned down by him. Our condolences to his family and friends.
(Picture of Billy Mays by Sharese Ann Frederick of Purchase, N.Y. ; used under a CC:Attribution/ShareAlike license.)
I've just discovered a fabulous book that is probably of interest to most of our customers. How to Live with a Huge Penis: Advice, Meditations, and Wisdom for Men Who Have Too Much
So, anyone interested should order this book. We've got it in our store, or you can get it from your neighborhood book seller or even some other sites like Amazon.com
Wow. If you go to Google and search for "I've got a penis", this site is the third result. Above us are only a Craigslist post about a guy with a small penis and a link to a site that doesn't load.
If you're wondering, I noticed it looking thru the logs of the search terms that had been used to find this site.
Here is our second commercial -- really, just an edited version of the first commercial, but cut down to sixty seconds so that we have got more places we can run it. This one has run, in the last week, on Comedy Central, CurrentTV, FUSE, and on the Women's Entertainment network. The feedback has been fabulous, so thanks everyone for the kind words and thoughts for our continued success!
We here at PenisReductionPills.com have a solution for men with any size penis who want everyone to believe, probably mistakenly, that they have an enormous johnson, without the possibility of doing anything to change the size of their penises. To do this, we pledge to sell the finest penis reducing placebos available today, using only government-approved placebo ingredients, shipped in boxes with our logo and name emblazoned in large type on all six sides. We are the premiere male ego enhancement product on the market today under $10.
Our promises:- Our products are all placebos, designed to not affect the size of the penis in any way (save the unexplained placebo effect).
- Our boxes, approved by all shipping services, display our logo and name in large type on all six sides.
- We will never sell your name or address to anyone else, because we hate it when that happens to us.
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