Wednesday March 10 , 2010

We’re number three on Google!

Wow. If you go to Google and search for "I've got a penis", this site is the third result. Above us are only a Craigslist post about a guy with a small penis and a link to a site that doesn't load.

If you’re won­der­ing, I noticed it look­ing thru the logs of the search terms that had been used to find this site.

 

最高級の男性の自我を強化する。

We’re proud to offer the finest penis-reducing place­bos on the mar­ket today, spe­cially designed to address the real needs of men today — “To strengthen the ego of the finest men.”

Because, what man among us doesn’t, occa­sion­ally, need a bit of a boost to his ego.  A lit­tle some­thing that lets him know that he’s good enough, smart enough, strong enough, and large enough to tackle any prob­lem or issue that may con­front him.

 

Jay Leno now endorsing Retractz

I’ve always said that a lit­tle com­pe­ti­tion is a good thing.  I just wish I had enough money to hire a really famous celebrity to hawk my prod­uct like this guy did.

 

An old ad that I found in the files…


A cou­ple days ago I promised I’d start scan­ning in and post­ing some of the ads that I’ve found in the files from when grandad and Uncle Pic­cilo were run­ning the busi­ness.  Here’s one that must have run some­time in the late 1950s, because that’s when they were in Min­netonka and using the given PO box.  All I have is a tear sheet, but I sus­pect this ad ran in the back third of Pop­u­lar Mechanics.

I sus­pect this ad was cre­ated by either Pic­cillo or per­haps by Bay­lord & Asso­ciates, which was the New York adver­tis­ing firm that they worked with for most of the 1950s and early 1960s. Even­tu­ally they moved over to Grant & Grant, a dif­fer­ent firm in New York, and sales took off around 1964.

Note that the price for a month sup­ply was $3, which at the time included ship­ping.  Based on the cus­tomer records I’ve seen, I sus­pect that they were sell­ing about 1500 or so bot­tles a month, although about 2/3 of those were to “repeat” customers.

Richard was also try­ing to get cer­ti­fi­ca­tions from var­i­ous med­ical soci­eties around this time; maybe next I’ll post the ad I found show­ing a doc­tor who rec­om­mended that most of his male patients take these.

 

Picture of Grandpa

Here’s a photo of my grandpa, Richard Mag­nus Sr. and grandma, prob­a­bly taken some­time in the 1980s.  I think it was taken shortly before their fourtieth wed­ding anniver­sary, so he’d be about 65 years old in this picture.

I really look up to my grand-dad, because he was smart and funny and always on top of things.  When I was young I wanted to grow up an be just liek him.  Alot of this, I know, came because he ran such a suc­cess­ful business.

I can only hope that I have 1/10th of the suc­cess that he had.

 

RIP, Billy Mays">RIP, Billy Mays

Picture of Billy Mays
As you know, I have been try­ing, some­what unsuc­cess­fully, to grow this busi­ness back to the same scale it was back in the 1950s and 1960s when my grand­fa­ther and his part­ner were sell­ing thou­sands of bot­tles a month.  I’m not embarassed to say that I’m still quite far away from that goal.  Per­haps the world has changed and the num­bers of peo­ple who want to buy a placebo which claims to reduce the size of their penis but doesn’t actu­ally do so is smaller than it was back in the days of Ike and JFK and Hugh Hefner.

But,  I’ve also thought that maybe the prob­lem is that folks today don’t know about the prod­uct.  To that end, we’ve been adver­tis­ing on the web and occa­sion­ally on tele­vi­sion, but it still hasn’t taken off.  Recently we’d writ­ten another com­mer­cial, and were get­ting ready to see if our favorite pitch­man, Billy Mays, might be will­ing to do the com­mer­cial for us ( for free, because we’re poor ).  Every­thing was ready to go except for the part of actu­ally try­ing to con­tact Mr. Mays and talk him into it.

And, today we were sad­dened to hear that Mr. Mays passed away overnight, and so we will never have the opporunity to get turned down by him.  Our con­do­lences to his fam­ily and friends.

(Pic­ture of Billy Mays by Sharese Ann Fred­er­ick of Pur­chase, N.Y. ; used under a CC:Attribution/ShareAlike license.)

 

Polls

How much too large is your penis?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

RSS Penis Reduction in the news

  • Penis Reduction: Get a Smaller Penis in only 90 Days
    FINALLY!!!! Safe, Effective PENIS REDUCTION. No Surgery! No Pills! Lose up to 3 inches -- Guaranteed! Tired of being stared at in the showers? Fed up with scaring off girls? […]
  • Penis Reduction: Get a Smaller Penis in only 90 Days
    PENIS REDUCTION. A True Story - Cock Rings. Remember that guy Big Tony who was in that Tom Hanks' movie "Bachelor Party," you know, the Chippendale's dancer with the monster ... […]
  • Scrotum Reduction
    C ALIFORNIA 416 North Bedford Drive Suite 400 Beverly Hills, CA 90210 t) 310.275.5566 f) 310.271.0521 altermd@earthlink.net NEW YORK 461 Park Avenue South […]
  • YesButNoButYes: Penis Reduction Pills
    This is marketing genius. Buy a prominently-labeled bottle of Penis Reduction Pills and make sure you leave them in a place in your home where everyone can see them. […]
  • Penis Reduction Pills
    The finest penis reducing placebos, shipped direct to you in large, well labeled boxes so everyone knows about your "problem". […]
  • Anatomy of the Penis and Mechanics of Intercourse
    Intact adult penis: This illustration represents an average normal adult human ... adult man, the area of skin that is missing because of penile reduction ... […]