Wow. If you go to Google and search for "I've got a penis", this site is the third result. Above us are only a Craigslist post about a guy with a small penis and a link to a site that doesn't load.
If you’re wondering, I noticed it looking thru the logs of the search terms that had been used to find this site.
We’re proud to offer the finest penis-reducing placebos on the market today, specially designed to address the real needs of men today — “To strengthen the ego of the finest men.”
Because, what man among us doesn’t, occasionally, need a bit of a boost to his ego. A little something that lets him know that he’s good enough, smart enough, strong enough, and large enough to tackle any problem or issue that may confront him.
I’ve always said that a little competition is a good thing. I just wish I had enough money to hire a really famous celebrity to hawk my product like this guy did.

A couple days ago I promised I’d start scanning in and posting some of the ads that I’ve found in the files from when grandad and Uncle Piccilo were running the business. Here’s one that must have run sometime in the late 1950s, because that’s when they were in Minnetonka and using the given PO box. All I have is a tear sheet, but I suspect this ad ran in the back third of Popular Mechanics.
I suspect this ad was created by either Piccillo or perhaps by Baylord & Associates, which was the New York advertising firm that they worked with for most of the 1950s and early 1960s. Eventually they moved over to Grant & Grant, a different firm in New York, and sales took off around 1964.
Note that the price for a month supply was $3, which at the time included shipping. Based on the customer records I’ve seen, I suspect that they were selling about 1500 or so bottles a month, although about 2/3 of those were to “repeat” customers.
Richard was also trying to get certifications from various medical societies around this time; maybe next I’ll post the ad I found showing a doctor who recommended that most of his male patients take these.
Here’s a photo of my grandpa, Richard Magnus Sr. and grandma, probably taken sometime in the 1980s. I think it was taken shortly before their fourtieth wedding anniversary, so he’d be about 65 years old in this picture.
I really look up to my grand-dad, because he was smart and funny and always on top of things. When I was young I wanted to grow up an be just liek him. Alot of this, I know, came because he ran such a successful business.
I can only hope that I have 1/10th of the success that he had.

As you know, I have been trying, somewhat unsuccessfully, to grow this business back to the same scale it was back in the 1950s and 1960s when my grandfather and his partner were selling thousands of bottles a month. I’m not embarassed to say that I’m still quite far away from that goal. Perhaps the world has changed and the numbers of people who want to buy a placebo which claims to reduce the size of their penis but doesn’t actually do so is smaller than it was back in the days of Ike and JFK and Hugh Hefner.
But, I’ve also thought that maybe the problem is that folks today don’t know about the product. To that end, we’ve been advertising on the web and occasionally on television, but it still hasn’t taken off. Recently we’d written another commercial, and were getting ready to see if our favorite pitchman, Billy Mays, might be willing to do the commercial for us ( for free, because we’re poor ). Everything was ready to go except for the part of actually trying to contact Mr. Mays and talk him into it.
And, today we were saddened to hear that Mr. Mays passed away overnight, and so we will never have the opporunity to get turned down by him. Our condolences to his family and friends.
(Picture of Billy Mays by Sharese Ann Frederick of Purchase, N.Y. ; used under a CC:Attribution/ShareAlike license.)
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