What are penis reducing placebos?

Posted by richard

Glad you asked, since otherwise our crack staff of writers would be wasting their time.

Placebos are harmless pills with no known physiological effects which are prescribed for their psychological benefits.  The uses of placebos go way back in medicine, but modern uses probably began with Dr. T. Graves, who published the paper “Commentary on a Case of Hystero-Epilepsy with Delayed Puberty: Treated with Testicular Extract” — and so, it’s probably safe to say that placebos and the groin area have been linked from the beginning.  In the 1930 and early 1940s many medical researchers found that in studies where a portion of the group not being given the studied active ingredient but were instead given pills which had no known active ingredient, but weren’t told this fact that some portion of these groups nonetheless seemed to experience a difference when compared to the control group, sometimes seeming as if they were being given the active ingredient.

For our product, our scientists and researchers have investigated many of the effective and ineffective known pharmaceuticals which can reduce the size of the penis. It didn’t take long, because we’re not good at researching things.  Next, we thought really hard about this, and figured that most men don’t really want to make their penises smaller, but might want other people to think that they have a huge member, and so we decided to put our knowledge of placebos together with our ability to print labels and boxes.  Viola! — a new product is born!

Satisfied in Missouri

Posted by richard

Dear PRP,

I love my husband dearly, but for a long time I couldn’t bear to have sex with him.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m a passionate woman, but our lovemaking was painful for me.  He was just too big!  I found myself developing “headaches” and using the shower massager a lot.  Our marriage was in trouble.

One day, on a lark, I googled “penis reduction” and found your site.  Desperate, I ordered the starter pack, and it was amazing.  My husband is exactly the same size, but he feels smaller to me because I make him take one every morning.  It’s like we’re newlyweds, except for the having no money part.

It’s helped his ego, too.  Neighbors have seen the boxes waiting on the porch, sometimes for weeks at a time before I bring them in.  The Reverend got quite a start last week when he came by for Bible study and offered to bring in the mail.

Thanks so much,

Mrs. M, St. Louis

They taste great.

Posted by richard

“In the past, when ordering products with no medicinal benefit, I’ve always been disappointed with their taste.  But, your penis reduction placebos taste almost exactly like sweet tarts — I’ve had trouble not gobbling the entire bottle some mornings.  Luckily, I’ve resisted, and I’m glad to say that while I think they have helped reduce the size of ‘Mr. Happy’ my ruler still shows I’m exactly the same size.  Thanks, PRP Online!”

—  Jack M., New Haven, CT

Picking up the mail has never been so fun!

Posted by richard

”I was in my pajamas when the mail guy tried to deliver it yesterday. So he left a call tag. Which meant John had to go to the Post Office today to pick it up! He said the lady at the Post Office snickered at him when he picked it up. Like he couldn’t tell if she was smiling to be polite, or smiling because he has a HUGE penis and now she knew.

Thanks, Penis Reduction Pills folks!”

— Madeline T., San Jose, CA

Worked as advertised.

Posted by richard

“It worked as advertised and I didn’t even take any!”

— Peter B., Cupertino, CA.

Note: Not ordering and not taking the pills is not recommended by the site proprietor as a means of not reducing the penis size.  Better would be to order them and take them as directed to not reduce the size of the penis.