I have weird dietary restrictions!

Posted by richard

Are these safe to eat if I’m a vegetarian or vegan?

Yes, as far as we know there is no reason that you couldn’t eat these even if you eschew all animal or animal-connected products.  If you’re against plant violence, well, then I can tell you that the dextrose and carnauba wax were both extracted rather violently from plants.

Now, that said, keep in mind that these are placebos, and it’s unlikely whether you’ll experience any effect at all from consuming them, so you’re free to order the product and never open the bottle.  Or, if you’re on something like the Atkins diet, order away and then dump out the placebos and replace the contents of the bottle with bacon bits, and take a handful three times a day, or whatever.

Our ingredients in our original, spherical pills: Dextrose, Citric Acid, Calcium, Stearate, Tapioca Dextrin, Confectioner’s Glaze, Carnauba Wax, Artificial Flavors & Colors (including FD&C Red 40Lake, Blue 1Lake, Yellow 5Lake, Red 40, Blue 1, Yellow 5) Manufactured by Concord Confections, Inc.  Concord, Ontario. L4K3N1.

And, our new “penis-shaped” pills: dextrose, maltodextrin, artificial flavors, calcium stearate, resinous glaze, tapioca, dextrin, carnauba wax, colors (including yellow 5&6, red 40, blue 1).

Do you collect sales tax?

Posted by richard

Yes, because we are a a California based business (and, we use business in the loosest possible sense) we must collect sales taxes for shipments to addresses in California.  Then, a couple times a year we have to send it into the state after filling out this really long form explaining where we sold everything to.

If you’re a reseller, contact us at info@penisreductionpills.com and we’ll talk terms.

What results can I expect if I use these?

Posted by richard

If you use our penis reduction placebo pills as directed, you can expect results like this:

Before taking penis reducing placebos

After taking penis reducing placebos

Will you sell these to a minor?

Posted by richard

Although no prescription is required, and although the placebos we sell should in no way affect the size of the wang of a person under age 18 ( 14 in Alabama ), we as a matter of policy will not sell to anyone under the age of 18.  Therefore, during checkout we will ask you for your age.  Do not lie if you are under 18 and say you’re older, and then try to sound all adult-like and talk about shows like the Golden Girls or about how the kids today, what with wearing their pants down around their knees, because we’re not falling for it and we know you’re not old enough to buy these.

So, we recommend that our customers under age 18 do what we had to do.  Steal your dad’s penis reduction pills.

Do you send out email or spam?

Posted by richard

Nope.  The only email we send out is if you create an account as part of ordering a product from us, status about an order you’ve placed with us, or responses from us if you email us asking a question or making a suggestion.  We do not “spam” email addresses, don’t send unsolicited email, and never will.

Please report any unsolicited email from us to abuse@penisreductionpills.com and we’ll do everything we can to determine where it’s coming from and resolve it.  If we do somehow have your information (perhaps because someone has signed up with us using your email address) we’ll remove it from our system and try to make sure it doesn’t occur again.