Penis Reduction Pills

I get a lot of email from various internet specialists

admin — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 06:38:14 +0000

who offer me services to do things like “increase your page rank in Google”, or “pick the right keywords so people can find you better”, and, frankly, I’m mystified since right now I think we’re ranked great in Google. If you, for example, do a search for “penis reduction pill” then we’re almost always the first link. And, the second link and third link as well. In fact, most of the links on the front page are to this site, so frankly I think these SEO specialists would have their work cut out for us.

Thank god we’re not in the penis enlargement pill business (and, for heavens sake, WHY?) because for some reason lots of folks seem to be selling them. Lord knows a day doesn’t go by that I don’t see to get some kind of email asking me to buy something to make my penis bigger, or longer, or harder, or whatever, and I just have to laugh to myself and say “Oh, I’m of the opinion that mine is quite large enough, thank you, so much so that I’m taking a penis reducing placebo every morning and want everyone to know that.”

We are not under investigation

richard — Fri, 01 Oct 2010 22:24:08 +0000

I’d just like to assure all of our customers that we here at Penis Reduction Pills.com, a subsidiary of Placebo Labs.com, are NOT under investigation by the United States Federal Drugs Administration, nor by the European Union Commissioner of Health, nor by (as far as we know) any other government agency. We pride ourselves on selling only the finest placebos, and anything you’ve heard to the contrary is just sour grapes from our competition.

Our products helping win the war!

admin — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 04:19:10 +0000

A photo of one of our bumper stickers on a troop transport in Iraq.

Our products aren’t just helping here in the states (and, Canada.) For example, here’s a photos of one of our customers, who finds that the pills are helping our troops in Iraq. Just the knowledge that our fine fighting men may need pills to make their penises smaller lets the people know that our fine fighting men may have larger than usual penises.

If you’re a member of the active military, mention that in the comments field on the checkout and we’ll double the size of your pills order automatically for you. And we’ll toss in a couple bumper stickers for you too.

We’ve been acquired!

admin — Fri, 28 May 2010 21:18:39 +0000

I guess I’m pleased to say that the assets and intellectual property of Penis Reduction Pills has been acquired by Placebo Labs, a California company which has been advancing the use and misuse of placebos in the marketplace today. I’ll be a vice president, overseeing something or the other — I’m sure they’ll find good stuff for me to do.

I’m a bit melancholy about this – certainly, it’s been a tough road so far bringing granddad’s company back to life, with a lot of ups and downs, and sales haven’t been as good as I would have hoped for, but Placebo Labs will be able to bring a lot of new capital and brainpower and I’m sure that together we’ll succeed beyond my wildest dreams.

richard — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 02:36:40 +0000

Think of the stories folks at work would tell about you if you kept a bottle of them on your desk.

richard — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 02:36:17 +0000

It’s natural male ego enhancement at its finest!

richard — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 02:35:53 +0000

We sell the finest penis-reduction placebos, shipped to you in boxes emblazoned with our logo in very large type so that the world knows you have a huge schlong.

richard — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 02:29:07 +0000

When you want the world to know “I’ve got a huge schlong!” but don’t actually want to change that fact.

Makes a great bachelor or bachelorette party gift!

“The finest penis reducing placebos…”

richard — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 06:26:58 +0000

“The finest penis reducing placebos, shipped direct to you in large boxes festooned with our logo on all six sides in 36 point type.”

Recommended for my male patients

richard — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 21:12:27 +0000

“As a professional model who has posed many times for stock photographs in a wide variety of roles, including as a doctor — a photograph from that session appears to the right of this endorsement — I most heartily endorse and recommend the Penis Reduction Pills sold by the very fine company behind http://www.PenisReductionPills.com to all my male patients, and to everyone else, in fact, provide they’re at least 18 years of age.”

- Notta Doctor, M.D. *

* M.D. stands for “Modelling Degree”