Although no prescription is required, and although the placebos we sell should in no way affect the size of the wang of a person under age 18 ( 14 in Alabama ), we as a matter of policy will not sell to anyone under the age of 18.  Therefore, during checkout we will ask you for your age.  Do not lie if you are under 18 and say you're older, and then try to sound all adult-like and talk about shows like the Golden Girls or about how the kids today, what with wearing their pants down around their knees, because we're not falling for it and we know you're not old enough to buy these.

So, we recommend that our customers under age 18 do what we had to do.  Steal your dad's penis reduction pills.

Related posts:

1. What are your weasel words so you can sell these things?

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