Our second commercial

Posted by richard

Here is our second commercial — really, just an edited version of the first commercial, but cut down to sixty seconds so that we have got more places we can run it. This one has run, in the last week, on Comedy Central, CurrentTV, FUSE, and on the Women’s Entertainment network. The feedback has been fabulous, so thanks everyone for the kind words and thoughts for our continued success!

Does Barack Obama use your product?

Posted by richard

We’ve been asked before if our new President, Barack Obama, is a client of our pills. But, because we pledge to keep our client’s record absolutely secret, we can’t say one way or the other.

However, we can say that many of the qualities people see in President Obama are the kinds of personality traits that taking a penis reducing placebo might help to enhance — the supernatural, inner calm; the supreme confidence it enables those taking them to exude, and an absolute coolness that emanates from every pore — all may be strengthened by those who take our North American-made, penis reducing placebos every day. Sometimes twice a day, even.

I really have a large, very large penis

Posted by richard

Will your pills work for me?

Very likely not, since they are placebos and have no known pharmacological effects.  I’d suggest you speak with your physician, and perhaps visit a local or online support group.

Do you have any celebrity endorsers of your product?

Posted by richard

At present, we have been unable to con any actual celebrities into endorsing, or even admitting to using, our products.  However, we are actively pursuing several “D” and below list celebrities in an attempt to lend some credibility to our placebo product.  Should any consent to the use of their name or likeness then we’ll gladly change the generic clip art image to the left into one of an actual celebrity and send out a multitude of press releases.

Are your products herbal?

Posted by richard

No. They’re candy. Sweet, tart candy, in fact. It’s unlikely that there are any herbs in them at all, save perhaps for some trace amounts left over from whatever was made in the container before them. Even if they were herbal, they’d be herbal placebos, and when you say “herbal placebo” you’re often just repeating yourself.